with Larra Jones and Jim Carey

Quips and Quotes 2

LaughterWe both got new phones last week. Larra got a new IPhone, and Jim got a new Android. Both of the phones are sitting on the kitchen counter. One rings, and Jim picks it up.
Jim: “It’s an automated message from Verizon. Oh, look! Our text messages look exactly the same!”
Larra: “That’s because it’s your phone, Jim.”

Jim: “Hey, how come your phone is bigger than mine?”
Larra: “Maybe you’re not going to have the biggest one all your life.”

In Rock Hill, SC, driving past motel row:
Larra: “This motel looks nice.”
Jim: “You mean the place where there’s four cop cars pulling out of the driveway, three more in the lot, and yellow police tape across half the parking lot?”
I thought I’d break down laughing when I asked her, “What part of the ‘10 Steps to Choosing a Motel‘ didn’t you understand? YOU wrote the article!!!”

Larra: “Why don’t you just Google it?”
Jim: “I would, if we could afford to go to a website. We’ve already gone through our 20 gigabytes of data and have three weeks to go before our billing cycle renews.”

Larra: So tonight we are sitting on the porch at the farm in Midville, Georgia. Danny (who takes care of the farm for Jim) asks Jim how many copies of Smugglers Blues he has sold.
Jim says about 250.
Danny says 250,000? Wow!
Jim says no 250 books! LOL
Jim: Larra laughed so hard I thought she would pee her pants.

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