with Larra Jones and Jim Carey

10 Steps to Becoming the Perfect Husband

MightyMouse1I have a couple of additions to the list:

  1. Make her laugh.
  2. Remember her birthday. [May 12]
  3. Remember your anniversary. [December 22]
  4. Scrub the commode, no matter who soiled it.
  5. Make the bed. She’ll be silently grateful.
  6. Call her sweetie, honey pie, whatever… That way you’ll never call her by your ex’s name.
  7. When you’re feeling snarky, stop and eat. If she’s getting snarky, feed her. [Definition of Snarky]
  8. Never run out of wine. Memorize her favorite, and get the gallon bottle at Costco.
  9. Memorize her standard Tim Horton (or Starbuck’s, or McDonald’s) breakfast order. Surprise her with it once in a while.
  10. Shave every day. Shower, too.

Do this and you can forget the name of her dog, the names of her parents, even her kid’s names, and all will still be well.

  • Jim
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