Larra: Jim, do all Americans pick up trash while out on a walk?
Jim: No, just me. I’m doing penance for all the littering I did in the past.
Jim: (While shopping in a supermarket) Where’s the beer?
Larra: (Laughing) Jim, in Canada you have to go to the beer and wine store to buy alcohol.
Jim: I found a lawn chair in the garage. I’m going to get naked and sunbathe in the back yard.
Jim: You might be from Vancouver if you say, “We went to the beach today,” even though the so-called beach is covered with rocks the size of your fist, and there’s not a lick of sand.
Larra: Oh, come on, Jim! There was a bit of sand!
Jim: I sure didn’t see it. Oh! I guess it depends on what you consider “sand.”
Jim: You know you’ve had an exciting day if it ends with running from an angry mob.
– See The Bookstore Incident for details.
Jim: In the States I end up with a bottle of coins because it hardly seems worth picking my pocket change up in the morning. But in Canada, with its one- and two-dollar coins, I always pick up my pocket change because it’s, like, ten bucks!
Jim: People often ask me, “How do you and Larra split up the driving?”
I reply, “Larra drives an hour, we take a break, then I drive an hour.”
“Oh, that’s a good idea,” they reply.
“Yeah, but lately I’ve noticed that Larra’s hour lasts 60 minutes, but mine last 120 to 240.”
“Oh, I like that even better!” the women reply.
Larra: Here’s one for my Canadian friends. Every County in the States has its own liquor laws.
There’s the Dry County: In the Dry County you cannot purchase liquor anywhere in the County but you can buy it in another County and bring it home.
Then they have the Damp County. I thought that was a joke when Jim said there is a Damp County. But apparently it’s for real. In the Damp County you can’t buy liquor in any store and obviously there are no liquor stores. You can buy a drink in a restaurant in the Damp County but only after you order food.
Then they have the Wet County, the one we are all familiar with. Here you can buy liquor in the grocery store, the corner store, plus they have liquor stores. Oh, and by the way, when we were in a Dry County while visiting Jim’s mom you can’t buy liquor in the county but you can have an open beer in your vehicle while driving. LOL
And I always thought the liquor laws in the states were so lenient. So when we stopped for a drink at a restaurant I went in first and sat at the bar. Jim was still outside. I ordered two beers. The waitress asked if they were both for me. I said no, Jim is outside but will be here shortly. She said I can’t give you a beer until he comes in. Ok, whatever. LOL
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